day 1, day 2, day 3, day 4....(dan prvi, dan drugi, dan treci, dan cetvrti...)

"we don't talk for days for months it often happens and I'm not surprised. He's like a painting by Kandinski, I'm like Picasso's Guernica. And yet.. what I like about him...his ''vision'' ..."
thought of this great old Italian song...Neapolitan song actually...can't remember the title... so I went to my Inbox-trying to find it there... and all found were some emails I should have deleted... (still I think I need to keep them) ...found some diaries you used to write to me... sweet little thing... simple words...
emails, memories...words...endless words that meant sth...that meant a WORLD... it's funny how everyone is the same... all the empty words ppl say and write... (I know these weren't just empty words, but the actions of today make them feel empty)
me...the naive one...still have this idea that things can be OK... that FRIENDS don't just forget you, erase you, replace you...
for whose sake am I running in circles... he wont care... (even if he does care, he doesn't and will NEVER show it) ... toxicity. fear. simplicity. tears. pride. other ppl. could go on and on naming the reasons/excuses...
it's all so god damn simple.. so simple it hurts... so simple I can't expect ppl to understand... all of us so hooked on complicating things... you should be simple. you are. you don't complicate things. and yet. you do. I do.
I wish I was born in a different time on a different place. than I'd fit into the simple things. now I'm one big complication.
(this blog never seems to be good for anyone else but me)
I send you a song - you think I want sth... how about you just think of sth else for once...I think you're afraid of yourself...and you avoid me for that reason.
addicted to WORDS. and the lack of them kills me slowly every day. you can't understand I know you can't. but I know. I keep loosing ...my friend. lost. not even lost... but taken.