....

picture

you know how sometimes... well most of the times... everything bad happens at once... and I kinda figured out that Febrary is my worst month... seems like in the past few years every bad thing happening happened in February...
and it's supposed to be a good month- my b-day and all...but I guess sometimes universe doesn't really give a shit what I think...
anyhow I need to learn to listen to myself...I keep forgetting that lately... but it's weird how everything bad that's about to happen I kinda know about it... it comes out as a known fact and not as a surprise... and I hate it sometimes...that everything I think just find it's way to happen...
does this make sense?
and all of my friends are sure my life will work out fine... this one friend wrote me the other day that she knows that my life will be good and that she doesn't worry for me cause I have (she says) this positive energy that wont let me fail...
and I don't know what to think...
I have so much doubt in my mind... I don't even know who I'm supposed to be... and they're all sure I'll be fine...
how can I be fine, when nothing I believe in works in this life... my best friend would probably say I should ''Practice what I preach'' but at the moment... I'm not sure I can preach...
I'm not turning into a negative person or whatsoever... people take too much positive energy away lately... maybe that's the problem... I let others hurt me...
It doesn't hurt when I bleed, but my memories... they eat me