wicker park

I guess some people just need more time (ya, me being one of them) to realize some things...to understand some truths (or excuses)... and in all this time I've only been holding on to what we used to have... not wanting to move on...not wanting to face your truths... I saw this confusing movie.. I guess I realized I've been only wanting some truths of my own... you know how sometimes you fall in love with the near idea of love... not even considering the downsides of it all...the hell with the downsides... I don't believe in downsides of love...there are no...but that's another topic... anyhow...I'll stop writing right now, 'cause this will all sound even more confusing as it already is...
(I just opened winamp to listen to some music and the first song playing was this one- ''you don't know what it's like you don't know what it's like to love somebody... if I aint got you..'' To Love Somebody...and than there are no coincidence in life... the hell with it..)

anyhow this below is a song from this movie... Wicker Park and Coldplay- the scientist

Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are Nobody said it was easy Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be so hard I'm going back to the start

work

I need to get a real -from 7am to 3pm- job, so I don't get any stupid ideas about going on some one day getaways on Tuesdays or other working day... ya, I need to grow up...or find myself some other fool like myself to spend a free weekday with...

nervous wreck

ya, that's me... haha ;) kinda... I gotta go to Ljubljana tomorrow...to see this professor about my diploma... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... would kinda fit the state of mind I'm in...;)

before/after

(Before)
I hate that part of growing up that brings changes into your perfect little life... or at least a picture of that perfection...
there was this very dear little garden I loved... and now days it looks like a demolition area... it's that kinda things that make me sad... that was my little getaway from all this gray civilization and now when I go there... all the plants, trees, flowers... everything just makes me sad... well the lack of everything that is..
we had this beautiful big apple tree there... it was amazing... it had 4 or 5 different kinds of apples on it... and now... they've ruined it... my father managed to save it...if you could call it that... and now it looks so sad, poor little tree... it has maybe 5 or 6 branches... and it's all cut down... but still it managed to grew few new branches...
It's sad what awful things man do to nature. And the worse part is that in time we just learn to deal with it, to accept it, we learn to move on. Not to correct, improve, help,...no. That would be too damn complicated... we just move on...leave it all in the past. But past is tricky...it comes to haunt you when you forget about it.
Not every change is a good thing.
(After)