I hate the world today

day3…now...to write about the same topic as my FAV post... don't really think I can. things are kinda different now. I've changed. things have changed. at the moment I don't feel like I felt when I wrote that...
but than again...the world hasn't changed... it's gone from bad to worse even. can't watch the news coz it makes me sad to see what kinda things are happening. and all that protesting in Egypt…. aren't governments there for the people? aren't they the ones that should stop and listen and understand that things have to change if they're not good.

as for the part I hated the world - back than when I wrote that post. that has changed as well. I understand now. well not understand. but I try to see different points of view on the situation that trouble me. and than I react.
I guess I grow… I learn…I adopt… I assimilate and soon enough I'll be a part of BORG… and will have collective mind… and wont't be able to think for myself. it seems our politicians wants us to become Borg… to be easily controled… manipulated…

on the other side…I don't hate the world coz I'm kinda in a state of mind that doesn't need that. maybe I'm back to my old optimistic self and hate to see myself looking at the world so negatively.
the only still valid reason why I hate the world is coz of some people… and the way they treat animals like they're just some objects to please us. too often people forget that animals have feelings just like we do…they understand everything…and I can't understand how people can just decide and give away their pets… to me that's like giving away someone from your family… and I don't think neither of them would give away their child or brother… but when it comes to animals it's easy…so, yes on that part – I do hate the world.



this post was written as part of the ‘Seven Day Blogging Challenge’.

who's the person I keep writing about

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now this one is hard. answer one question I think people visiting my blog may have. tried to think what I would like to know... but than that's not the same.
so...I guess people would wonder who I am... but since I've already kinda answered that in my previous post...the second one that comes to my mind is this...


the person I keep writing about is my EX. smart. funny. interesting. SEO specialist. company owner. virgo. beautiful mind. sensitive. very sensitive. puts reason ahead of feelings lately. thinks the distances between us are unreachable. (4 hour drive with a car) intelligent. loves good food. used to love me. now he doesn't know I exist. used to talk to me for hours every single day. now can't find time or reason to write one word to me. used to mean the world to me. now I'm figuring out how not to think about him.(now that's not entirely true. I love to think about him despite everything) when it comes to me he thinks love is something you decide not to do anymore and you end it with ignorance. he loves to ignore me. but still I think he's all those things I used to love about him. sweet. amazing. loving. caring. has the most beautiful blue eyes in the world. he just doesn't know how to handle me. I guess I'm too much for him. I was good limited time offer. now I am some stranger trying to get in his way.

that's who I write about. that's who makes me write about my emotions. my feelings. my dreams. my horrors. my lies. my weakest moments. that's who makes my world shift from rainbow to dark. that's the guy. Mario. cute little thing. whose simple life has no place for me. we are so different. I believe in unconditional love. if I love you – I love you. if I don't – I don't. no middle way. no hidden facts. but that's my problem (?). when I learn to think like him I'll be fine. and labeled. and I will know how to STOP love.


this post was written as part of the ‘Seven Day Blogging Challenge’.

going once...

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so here we go. doing a challenge Andrew started. first post.the one that that didn't came like the others, this one was made for a reason (now I demolish my past posts like they have no reason....but they do...but still...this one is different) I'll challenge myself to do this. to make my blog a (one week long) routine?! still I've been discovering lately that maybe I do need some routine in my life. MAYBE.

me. myself and I.... I am bili. one little complicated person that can't live without words and communication. started this blog as an assignment for my English class. than it grew up to be more of my personal journal. place to free my hart. place to show myself to the world. my friends would say I'm an artist. I would avoid labels. we're all just humans (more or less) different. unique. crazy. wicked. boring even. we all try to do the best we can.
despite my gloomy moods I am in love with life and traveling and music and photography and sun and the rain and green fields and black night. maybe I'm hiding behind all this. maybe I'm just trying to show someone (I keep loosing) who I am. I am my words. my photographs. my friends. my lies.

the differences in all of us makes us special. the things I write about. the header that includes photo of a drawing I did on my wall. to my thoughts that I put out there for someone else to find. to feel. to understand. I'm trying to understand myself through this. discovering my emotions. my reactions.

I wanna make this blog useful. for someone else beside me. wanna try and make it count. help even. so you are the privileged ones (now whether or not this is a good thing) I show my weaknesses to. but as much as I write down. there's so much more you'll never know.

"words are meaningless and forgettable" - Depeche mode-enjoy the silence -

time

Just found out about this blog awhile ago... already LOVE IT! :)
Resolutions. Ideas. Plans. Thoughts. Dreams. Ambitions. Imagination.

I always get so pissed on people who use their JOB as an excuse for LIFE. Just the other day, my dear friend... we were discussing a present for another friend of ours...and I said to her that she should think about what we should buy... and she says... I'm too busy with work and all I don't have time to think...

What a sad life you got than... when you don't even have time to think... what is the point of your life... to get up, go to work..bitch about work all day long... and still work the same job you bitch about...and repeat that every day...
is that what I want my life to be like?

I don't think so. Even I keep complaining about lots of things lately. To myself of course. I don't like to bother people with my stuff. I learned how to speak about what bothers me...once. Long time ago. But kinda lost that idea now. Kinda lost that trust feeling I had back than.

Life should be about enjoying it. About tasting the rain as it falls down on you. About smelling the roses you pass. About listening to the sound of your voice when you sing. About daydreaming. About thinking impossible things. About discussing amazing theories. About sharing your life with someone you love. About loving yourself.
It shouldn't be about your JOB and your bragging about how you got no time. Coz frankly if you don't have time. What good are you? It's up to you how you're gonna live your life. It's up to you to leave your work at the office. Not taking it home. Time passes. We are just a glimpse of it all...
And you always have time. You just gotta take it.

possibilities

some stranger(you'd say) keeps convincing me I am a better person and that I deserve more. and after you've been hearing that over and over again you can't help but start believing it's true.
I love the message on this pic. break the impossible down into possibilities.I might just do that. it's about time I go back to being me. to follow me. to listen to me.
I'll try not to make this one just fit onto my new years resolution list... but actually live by it. :) it's funny but this year...I (the holiday cliche freak) didn't have any of that yaaaay it's new years enthusiasm like years before...
I made myself believe I was lonely. but how can you be lonely with such good friends...

so people happy new year! have fun! fall in love! do crazy things! and don't just blindly follow the crowd! :)